Maggie Never Sleeps

Yesterday was annoying and nice by turns. I spent the whole day on College Ave, sans car, from 9am to 9pm. The majority of the day was spent walking in circles, because I couldn't decide what to do with myself. I had a bad sore throat and maybe a fever -- which made it hard to think. A lot of the walking happened because I needed to print things out for class and every lab I went to had some sort of problem. Most of these problems were linked to the fact that CCF bought new printers for all the CACC labs, but didn't buy enough TONER for them. Brilliant.

My classes went pretty well -- now I've seen them all. I'm impressed with how thoughtful the professors are -- everyone of them told us, I don't want you risking your health and safety to come to class. If you're sick, stay home. If the roads are icy, stay home. Class is *not* worth your health and safety.

I've NEVER heard a professor say that before. I would have been shocked if a prof even thought it. My Class, not as important as your health and/or safety? Never! My words of wisdom are astoundingly important, and if you have to suffer through pneumonia so be it. YOUR GRADE OR YOUR LIFE -- YOU CHOOSE!

!!

I've also never heard professors so interested in our jobs, careers, and lives after the program. It's refreshing to know that they are concerned about us getting jobs someday -- and not just concerned with our understanding of truth and knowledge and blah blah blah.

Wow, I've changed since undergrad. Not that I'm anymore career minded now -- I'm still mostly interested in living my life one day at a time, but still. It's all very interesting to hear.

What was less good was that Old Rutgers Feeling. While I'm in the SCILS building I feel sort of safe, like they want me to be there and are interested in my well-being. Walking up and down College Ave and into the other buildings, I have a constant sense that I am quite unwelcome. I went and visited the Graduate Lounge of Alexander library yesterday. I was asked many, many times to see ID and my grad status was sortof questioned. When I asked about getting a desk in there (they have desks with locking compartments called "Carols" you can request) the librarian laughed at me. She laughed. I was the highlight of her day. I, not even a PhD student, had the nerve to ask for a desk, when the waiting list stretched off into infinity. Really, it was amazingly funny for her. I should take my act on the road.

Anyway. I feel rather sick right now -- in the physically ill sort of way. My throat hurts, my head is spinning, and I may have a fever. Definitely a bunch of flu-like symptoms.

In spite of this, I need to get my ass in gear on this wedding crap (much as it makes me cringe), do some more schoolwork (which isn't bad at all), and possibly bring my poor starving sister some lunch.

Hurray for adulthood!

Its only 11am and already the day has been "interesting."

I went to get my immunization form filled out at Wardenburg (the health center). The nurse who filled it out managed to convince me to get my tetnus booster -- so by 9am I'd gotten a shot I wasn't expecting.

I walked across school to get to the wmst graduation. What I expected (since I hadn't seen any emails or letters with instructions about the event) was a quick informal ceremony with some refreshments. So when I got to the quad and saw the line of women in caps and gowns, I knew I was mistaken. Apparently I missed the information about the very formal and long graduation ceremony. Since I was wearing street clothes (which for me equates to jeans and t-shirt) I elected to just sit in the audience while the ceremony went on.

When they got to the Graduate Certificate section, they announced and talked about each of the students who received it. One was a fine arts student, another was philosophy. Each had a nice intro from a prof who knew them well. Then they called my name. I expected one particular prof, who I knew well, to do the talking for me. Instead, some woman who I'd never met read part of the essay that I wrote to get into the program. So...I introduced myself...basically...through some other woman's voice. It was really, really embarresing because I did *not* write that piece to be read aloud as an self-introduction. I would never have wanted that read out loud like that.

So as soon as the ceremony ended, and I could leave the small auditorium without being noticed, I bolted right out of there.

This all put a crimp in my day.

Happy Birthday Buddha! (or so Londonist tells me)

Yesterday, I got my I grade changed to something real.

Yesterday, I spoke with "my advisor" in Women's Studies for the first time and we worked out a deal to let me graduate with the certificate.

Yesterday, I wrote some pages onto my last paper -- but not nearly enough.

Today, I will finish that final paper by 3pm and email it to Pat for him to print for me.

Today, I will also clean my house up, throw lots of stuff away, and get some packing done.

Tomorrow, I will go to my last shift at work.

Tomorrow, I will also clean and clean and pack.

The Day After Tomorrow (besides being a crappy movie) will be the day my family comes to visit.

Huzzah!

Well, 22 days doesn't sound like much at all, does it?

I've been steadily working on my two big papers and putting out fires all over the place. I'm about halfway through the one that's due tomorrow, but I should be able to finish it with enough effort today. The other one still frightens me a bit, but I have until next Tuesday, so I'm sure I'll figure something out.

It's because of these papers (and other stuff) that I haven't yet gotten around to finishing up the interviews I promised. Don't worry, I haven't forgotten you -- it'll just be a little bit before I get them all done. Coming up with questions is a lot harder than it looks (or at least interesting ones).

The biggest problem that we have right now is finding a subletter. When I first posted a notice on Craigslist, we had seven interested people emailing and calling. At least three of them came and looked at the place. I was so hopefuly that out of all of them, someone would want it. But as of right now all the emails have dried up and none of the people who looked have gotten back to us. We can still move if we don't find a subletter, but then we're responsible for the rent till August. That's a lot of money to pay to not live somewhere.

I have to finish a weird three-page paper thing for 1pm. Trouble is (and this is sort of the trouble with my two big papers) I feel real empty. I lack words to type into my computer. There's just nothing left to say. Or something.

All I want to do is pack and clean and throw stuff away.

So 24 is shaping up to be perfect for my paper (although, in a way, that makes me sad). Its the opposite end of the spectrum from the movie "The Siege," where torture is soundly condemned. I'm not quite sure yet how to fit everything together, but I think I'll have something for it soon.

The 24 season is interesting to me for a number of reasons. First, its hugely popular -- lots of Americans watch (and apparently) enjoy it. Second, I picked this season because it aired well into the Iraq war and the revelation of torture there -- so that may be a reason that torture is so prevelant in the show.

The whole thing is amazing to me, at least television-wise. During one specific episode, Keifer Sutherland gives a speech about how they have to do whatever it takes. This is almost the exact opposite of a speech that Denzel Washington gives in The Siege, about how the American ideals of liberty and freedom are more important.

Now I just need to draw some conclusions on all this stuff and actually write the paper.

I'm surprisingly cheerful. Today's the day I go in front of my committee and defend all the stuff I wrote on Monday. I suppose I'm cheerful because after today, this whole mess is over (minus a few papers and grade fixes).

I find it funny how this whole thing is working. As I understand it, generally you invite people to your defense. It's a big happy event. My defense is going to be *somewhere* at noon. No one will attend but me and my committee. Either way I don't really care. I'm just happy to be done!

So here's hoping that I pass.

Today I'm taking the written portion of my exam. Well, first I go to work and then I take the exam. I'm in a weird state of worried/unworried.

Part of me is frantic, because I have no idea what's on this test. I hate suprise questions. What if it's something really crazy or something that I'm not at all prepared for? I've crammed so much information into my head right now that I'm confusing it all. There's just so much to know and most of it will probably end up being irrelevant.

The other part of me is pretty relaxed. I'm going to take the test, write what I can write and be done with it. Not a very motivating way to look at it, but at least it's calming.

I'm writing my question-thing for my War&Peace class. Basically I have to write some question related to the reading and then respond to it over one page.

This damn thing is like pulling teeth. I've started over three times now. Finally settled on one particular angle to go with but its just not coming together. I think the problem is that we usually have to read these in class, and I really don't want to read what I've been writing.

The most annoying part: these don't count towards our grade. We just have to do them or fear the wrath of the prof.