Maggie Never Sleeps

Ten years is a very long time. And ten years ago today, Pat told me he loved me for the first time.

We were babies back then, both only 19 years old. We really grew up together, into the people we are now. Only a month later the world completely changed and we lived through it together. We moved across the country together and then back again. We've had more weddings than I can count, because every day he asks me to marry him again. One third of our lives spent together, those particular crazy years where people figure out how to be people and live.

And I can't imagine life without him. He's my other half, without whom I would not truly be whole.

Last night the window was open the whole time I slept. This is how I know things are right in the world.

The air smells like water. It's heavy and thick and holds me up.

Yesterday was 78 degrees.

We can do this world. Keep it going.

* My tattoo itches. Argle.

* Have a new job. Starts monday. Very nervous.

* Organizing lots of Solstice/Yule/Christmas stuff.

Busy busy busy.

Now must go to store for soup ingredients. Tonight is creamy potato soup.

Its 30 degrees outside and 55 degrees inside and i am super cold. I'm typing this under 5 blankets and two cats. Theres a third cat perched on the dresser, this gives off a small amount of heat too.

I hate winter. Must acquire space heater.

Mondays are soup days. I made thyme-mushroom soup tonight, served with cheese and crackers. Next week i might make broth from scratch.

Tomorrow is a red beans and rice experiment. This weekend i might try to make one of those no-kneed breads, recipe is for olive breads, sounds awesome. Pat will be away so i don't have to feel bad about gluten food.

I'm mostly warm under the covers, just my fingers are really cold. And my head. Maybe i'll go get my hat and wear it to bed.

I'm trying to learn to make cheap good food, food with staples, food that can be stretched and reused. I'm also trying this semi-vegan diet, where you avoid animal foods before dinner, and then eat as you like in the evening. Point is to emphasize veg and fruit and whole grains durinv the day without making yourself insane.

Cooking healthy and cheap and staple-y with the added layers of no meat, no soy, no gluten is a puzzle to be worked at.

I'm typing this on my phone in the tiny mobile lj window. Just typing w/o reading mostly. Ignore caps and punc mishaps, laugh at humerous spelling mistakes.

Posted via m.livejournal.com.

My parents have an automatic soap dispenser in their downstairs powder room -- you hold your hand out underneath it and it gives you soap.

Their soap dispenser is oversensitive and overreactive. When I walk in the room it'll go off, once, twice, three times, like it's happy to see me and its only way of showing affection is to drool out gobs of lysol soap. As I leave the room, I hear it go off once again, as if it's crying out "no don't leave me" but the only tool it has for crying is, again, gobs of lysol soap.

Now I feel bad for the automatic soap dispenser.

More positives:

* I had a really bad week, between work and money, and then some stuff happened with my birthday plans, related to work and money. I had planned to make brunch for my family because I like planning and making more elaborate meals and I didn't really want to go to a restaurant like normal. There was a big rough patch in there, where it all was falling apart, and my family came together to really save the day. Particularly Pat. He was amazing.

* So brunch did happen and the food was awesome and delicious. It was simpler than I had originally planned - instead of elaborate dishes that required ingredients, almost everything came from stuff we already had in the house. And it was tasty, which is really the important point.

* Got to watch some awesome bad movies after brunch. Went to see Legion in theaters. Wow, the crazy. As I posted elsewhere, Angels and guns are as bad as werewolves and vampires with guns. Then we came home and watched Prophecy, which is an awesome movie all around, followed by Constantine, which is a bad, bad movies with some awesome bits.

* I got some awesome presents. My sisters got me a cookie press, which I was actually really wanting over the holidays. So neat. My parents bought me this crazy, but awesome, three pot crock pot. That's literally what it is -- three crock pots, lined up in a rack each with their own temp control. So now I can have a pot of gluten and tofu, pat can have a pot of meat and tofu, and tif can have a pot of meat and gluten. Its a win for everyone.

* I also got a box of hair dye as a present. Hoo-ray my hair is black again. Really, what I need is a haircut, but I'll settle for shiny black locks for the moment.

* Thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes, it was really nice to hear from you all. Some people just came out of the woodwork, I haven't heard from them in so long.


----


* On an unrelated side-note: Are you having a con, meeting, event, or party in the future? Do you need someone to do promotion work? Pat has been doing amazing work for Wicked Faire promotions and he could be doing it for you too! Send him an email!

(Apologies to elmo_iscariot for stealing his title line, I couldn't resist.)

The Democrats are idiots. Went and got my hopes up that they might actually *do* something, rather than just fighting each other and wasting time.

Anyways.

Wanted to type out some words in a happier mood than my last post. It's been a bit tricky. Things are tough lately. Money is tight, work is stressful and frustrating, social life is non-existant.

Thank you to everyone who replied to my post, I appreciated the responses. A big part of my sadness at that time was that I have very little social contact outside of work -- and social contact at work is strange.

Thank you also to my sisters who lent me a space heater. Being warm at home is easier now and it freaks the cats out in awesomely comical ways.

Hmm...this post isn't really working out. I wanted to post a general life update from a happier or at least more balanced perspective, but whenever I type out specifics it just seems like whining. I think I'll stop now.

NO VOICE! Ok, well, a little tiny squeaky bit -- but it really really hurts to use it.

And again I'm strangely cheerful. I'd prolly be humming if it too didn't hurt so much (I just tried it, bad experiment).

Have a lap kitty and a very close sleeping kitty right now. Pretty much there are always two kitties with me whenever I'm home. They rotate. Pretty-close-sleeping-kitty is vaguely annoyed and wants to knock standing-in-my-lap kitty out of my lap. This is the normal way of things. Too many lap kitties and not enough laps.

See! See! I'm in some horrendous good mood here. I need to be sick more often.

I'm re-reading Dune right now. The paperback has two covers coming off. There's a note that lists an address on Grape St in far away California inside the front cover. Frank Herbert's bushy beard stares off the back.

The day the flesh shapes and the flesh the day shapes.

Last night the moon was full or almost full, but high and tiny in the sky. We had almost all the lights turned off, and the cold house was full of puddles of silver.

...the pilgrim seeks not to conquer the worlds he visits but to surrender to them; and unlike a missionary, he seeks not to preach but, in the silence of his supplication, to listen.

Now I'm sniffly. I have a probably-a-placebo vitamin C drink powder and a bin of freeze-dried strawberries. Both are vivid and red.

That's all.

Up for work far too early. I feel like I should be scratching a line into the wall for everyday, because I've just started a run of 9 days straight.

It bothers me when people are running A/C, and yet I'm sitting in my non-A/C'ed house shivering because it's pretty cool outside. What a waste.

Need to make lunch and get dressed; whole 'nother day to get through.