emo last night; positive this morning

[sleepymaggie]

I think I have three major problems that I need to fix in order to improve my life:

* I need to find a job. A good and well paying job. Something that will not drive me crazy, and yet still pay our bills. The hard part is that I don't really know how to look for a real job. I've mostly worked retail and temp stuff. Need to think on this.

* I need to evaluate where I'm going in my pagan life. I have goals for where I want to be, and right now I feel stuck. Like I'm not moving forward. So I need to figure that out.

* I need to figure out my medicine/medical situation. The meds I'm on right now don't seem to be working and I dislike my current brain doc. Plus I'm still otherwise sick pretty often. This makes holding down a real job difficult. Luckily my temp position doesn't really care about whether or not I come to work.

There are difficulties and positives to each of these issues.

I also think there are some "silly" things I could do to improve my mood:

* Hair cut and more hair dye. Although my natural color is pretty dark, I can now definitely see roots.

* My blue arm tattoos. I think these will improve my mood a lot. I'm trying to decide if I should do one arm at a time or both at the same time.

* Cleaning my house. Living in less than insane conditions would be nice. I just need to get off my ass.

Comments

[coyotegrrrl.livejournal.com]

Piercing my nose, cutting and dying my hair, and getting a hair wrap made me feel really good - more in control of my life, my appearance, and happier all around. Every time I look in the mirror, I can see the difference.

Also, cleaning my space makes me feel a lot better. This is not a hint - my bedroom is a mess right now.

And having a real job does WONDERS for one's self-esteem. Maybe you can use RU's career services as an alumna?

And yeah, the meds go without saying.

The suck.

[shades-of-nyx.livejournal.com]

Short, curly, hair with a royal blue tint suits you so well! I look forward to seeing that piece of you again.

Your "pixie sadist" peeking out from under curly bangs makes my soul smile!

Will you share with me where you want to end up in your pagan life? Identifying the goal in writing sometimes helps me find the first concrete steps on the path. At other times, when I feel stuck, my mindfulness/meditation practice is useful. Purposefully emptying my mind of mundane thoughts allows my subconcious to bubble its messages to the surface.

Tell me more about the arm tattoos? Are these planned for November? Which artist, etc. (Mostly so that I can plan you enough time.)

Re: Medical Stuff
I'm just gonna say this, and I've been trying to find a way to say it without being scary or mean or yucky for a while.
I think you've got Fibro/CFIDS or chronic Lyme. That's what I see from your symptomology and the pattern of exhaustion post exertion. That really sucks, and I'd never in a million years want a friend/family member to be stuck with that diagnosis.
Fibro/CFIDS and chronic Lyme are all diagnoses of exclusion that happen when all of your blood work comes back saying nothing's wrong. You'll be tested for everything under the sun, and the results will be perfectly normal. That's the most frustrating thing ever.
The folks who diagnosis these disorders are actually Rheumatologists. Wierd, but the history of the research of these disorders landed them in rheumatology. So, please, ask your PCP for a referral to a rheum and see what he/she says....
Apologies in advance if the above is ouchie.